31 Days of Lessons Learned: Don’t Stifle Your Child’s Creativity and Decision-Making (Girls Can Be Batman Too)

31 Days of Lessons Learned:  Day Twenty Six

Don’t Stifle Your Child’s Creativity and Decision-Making (Girls Can Be Batman Too)

Before I get started on this lesson, let me make a quick note.  While I mention it’s important to give your child the space to blossom and find their own way, if he/she is doing something wrong or potentially harmful, I would recommend stepping in and stopping the behavior and/or decision-making.

OK, on with the lesson.

I think we’re all guilty of trying to force our will on someone from time-to-time and making them be something they don’t want to be.  I’ve learned that I don’t really like it when it happens to me, so one of the conscious decisions I made when I found out I was going to be a dad was to make sure my daughter wasn’t exposed to that type of thing.  While I want to guide her and teach her right from wrong, it’s important for me to let her discover herself and her creativity by the decisions she makes in life.

I was almost guilty of this recently though when we were hunting for her Halloween costume.  At first, she wanted to be a monkey.  Then, with about two weeks to go, she changed her mind to a squirrel.  We had trouble coming up with a passable squirrel costume, so we decided to let her loose in a costume store.  We went to her section and let her choose the costumes to try on.  It was almost costume overload because she had about six costumes she was choosing from initially.  Right when we had it narrowed down to a reasonable number of costumes, Lily added one last costume to the list:  Batman.

My inner geek was extremely proud.  The Batman fanatic in me might have shed a tear.

After that initial swell of pride hit, I started to panic.

Would people confuse her for a boy?  Would people think I put her up to it?  Can I talk her into a Batgirl costume?  What would people think?

Because I had those thoughts, I tried my hardest to talk her into going with a cute little witch costume.  In the end, my daughter’s mind was made.  She was going to be Batman.

The more I thought about it, the more I chastised myself for my original thinking.  How cool is it that my daughter chose Batman as her costume?  I think that’s awesome.  And to think, I was going to impose my will on her and make her settle for a witch costume.

Want to know what’s even cooler than my daughter dressing up as Batman?

My wife is making me a Robin costume.

Watch out come Halloween because the Dynamic Duo is on the prowl.

BatLily – at today’s Detroit Zoo Boo.

31 Days of Lessons Learned: American Girls Dolls are expensive!

31 Days of Lessons Learned:  Day Seventeen

American Girl Dolls are expensive!

 

When my wife and I found out we were pregnant, I wanted a girl and thankfully that’s what he had.  Of course I would have loved a son just as much, but deep down, I wanted to have a daughter so she could be referred to as “Daddy’s Little Girl.”  I knew by having a girl though, I was in for a little bit of a learning curve, but I was ready (see below for examples)!

See, I even passed a class…I was ready.

Practicing for upcoming dress up and tea parties.

So, I’ve taken the new learning as an opportunity to be a better parent.  Sure, there’s been a few bumps in the road, but my wife and I are doing a good job at this whole parenting thing.  In fact, I feel like we’re just starting to hit our stride and have a lot of fun as a family.

That belief came crumbling down this week though.  What happened that knocked me down a peg and showed me that I still have a lot to learn?

We received an American Girl Catalog in the mail.

Out of curiosity, I flipped through it to see what the big deal was.  I used to be the vendor liaison for the publisher that published the American Girl books, so I was fairly familiar with the world of American Girl.  Well, after flipping through that catalog, and removing my jaw from the table and putting it back, I learned two things:

1)  I still have a lot to learn about being the father of a girl

2)  American Girl Dolls are expensive!

Seriously, the clothes for these dolls cost more than the clothes I wear!  The accessories cost more than the clothes I wear.  The price of a doll and an outfit costs more than a week and a half of groceries for our house.  And, for the price of the kid-sized outfits your child can get to match their doll costs more than the clothes I wear.

If American Girl is just the beginning of the iceberg, I’m guessing I’m going to have a pretty skinny wallet for years.

Thankfully, I recycled the catalog before my daughter could see it. 

31 Days of Lessons Learned: Memories come in all shapes and sizes

31 Days of Lessons Learned:  Day Sixteen

Memories come in all shapes and sizes

Each night, my wife and I talk about our daughter and how much fun we have as parents.  We talk about how much she’s grown in the past two and a half years, and all of the memories we’ve had along the way.  Sure, we have memories of all of her milestones:  first words, first steps, first time using the potty, and the like, but something happened last night that made me realize that I need to make sure I give equal weight to the little moments because those moments may just be the most memorable long-term.

Before I go into what happened last night, here’s my one quick piece of parenting advice:  Don’t wish your child older.  Why?  Well, it’s simple.  As Lily grows, I’m finding that her current development period is my favorite.  Why rush it when the ride is so memorable?  Your kid will grow up a lot quicker than you expect, so sit back and enjoy the ride.

OK, back to last night.  My wife was making dinner and there was about an hour before it was ready.  I wanted to head up to Vault of Midnight (the best comic shop I’ve ever been to) to pick up Batman #13.  I’ve been waiting patiently for this issue and it was finally out.  I figured it would be fun for Lily to come, so I parked about four blocks away (free parking) and we started walking.

There we were, hand in hand, singing the ’60s Batman TV theme song, on our way to pick up that comic.  When we got there, she was very interested in the action figures and the comics…pointing out her favorite heroes (Batman and Spider-Man).  She also made sure I got issue #13 and serenaded the folks in the store with the ’60s Batman theme on our way out.

After our fun visit to the comic shop, we then made a quick surprise visit to grandma Cyndi’s store, Lily Grace Cosmetics (catchy name, huh?) and headed home.

Oh, I also have to mention that we did all this while Lily wore a cupcake stocking hat and a pink spiky backpack…that’s just how we roll.

My daughter, the Koopa Troopa

Even though this little trip to the comic shop was such a small event in the grand scheme of my daughter’s growth, I’m never going to forget it.  I had so much fun from start to finish:  we talked, we sang, we ran, we hopped, we got to go look at comics, we saw grandma…if that’s not the making of a good memory, I don’t know what is.

Just remember, no matter how big or small, don’t take the opportunity to make a memory for granted.

Infiltrating the free AADL Toddler Playtime hour

I’m now on week four of unemployment, and while I have the itch to get back to work ASAP, I feel like I’m getting into a routine for the most part.  Sure, I still haven’t learned to clean up as well as I would like (and as well as my wife would like I’m sure), but I think I have the fun and educational stuff down.  Lily is napping right now, so I wanted to put up a little blog before I start picking up.  Yesterday, I spent her entire nap time applying for jobs and writing cover letters.  So today, I thought the ole blog needed some attention.  In the coming days, expect some posts about cooking (I did some awesome cooking last week that only my iPhone camera, my wife, Lily, and I know about), weight loss (I’m back on the wagon and seeing results), and writing (I have a new found motivation, now I just need to find the time…plus NaNoWriMo is coming up!).  Today though, I wanted to touch briefly on one of the things Lily and I have done recently:  Baby playtime at the public library!

Lily and I have been three times, all with varying success.  I will say that after three times, it is more fun for the parent if you go when you know another parent who is going.  Lily and I went today without a friend and it just didn’t feel right.  In fact, today’s trip wasn’t as fun and successful as I hoped, but Lily still had fun and we’re looking forward to going back again soon.

The playtimes at the Ann Arbor libraries consist of about 15 minutes of song and dance (which Lily loves the most), then 45 minutes of play.  Our libraries have some great toys and activities.  I know I always complain that I never really see my tax dollars at work, but the library programming is well worth it!  Usually, Lily runs around like a wild animal and has an absolute blast (in fact, two weeks ago, she escaped the play room and ran half way through the library with little ole me chasing along).  Today felt different though.  Thinking back on it, I really think it had to do with quantity of children.  This was the biggest group of the three playtimes we’ve been at, and I think Lily was simply overwhelmed.  She essentially shied away from all the kids and played on her own, which is a bummer because I bring her to these activities mainly for socialization.  If any of my readers have any ideas on less imposing socialization activities, drop me an e-mail or a comment.

The reason I called this blog “Infiltrating” is because as a stay-at-home Dad, I feel like I’m in the minority when it comes to these play groups.  It is slightly overwhelming, but so far the group of mothers who attend the playtimes seem very welcoming and accommodating.  They don’t necessarily strike up conversations with me or anything, but I don’t get dirty looks that question why I’m there, which is nice.  We all share one thing in common and that’s our love for our children.  I may still look like a fish out of water at times, but I’ll be a playtime pro in no time.  Now, all I need to do is learn those damn songs so I can stop faking like I’m singing along.

Oh, two more coming attractions for future blog posts.

1)  Lily and I checked out some potty training books, so you know what that means!

2)  We’re coming pretty close to October, which is one of my favorite months.  As a huge fan of Halloween, horror, and things that go bump in the night, I’m going to start featuring my picks and the like on this blog for a fright-filled October!